In full disclosure, the hilarious video is NSFW. Aside from the colorful language, there are some similarly, ahem, colorful graphics. If you can blink away the blurred image of Ryan Gosling's nether regions, though, you'll likely come to the same conclusion as I did: These girls are brilliant.
And when it comes to gender inequality, their tongue-in-cheek decree hits the proverbial nail on the head. See for yourself!
Cotillion Girls: Ryan Gosling's d**k
To hell with football, let's talk about Emma Watson >>
Where my girls at?
"Attention all female nerds: Learn how to hack... how else are we going to get into Ryan Gosling's phone and get those dick pics?" they ask. "Think about it: if more women were interested in computer science, we would have seen it by now."
While they're obviously playing on gender stereotypes (i.e. women aren't good at math, science and the like), they're also highlighting the woeful lack of gender equality in celebrity exposure or, rather, over-exposure, in the crudest sense of the term.
Josh Hutcherson: JLaw hacking scandal is 'f***ing horrible' >>
When nude photos of female celebs like Jill Scott, Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton first began surfacing on 4chan on Labor Day weekend, the response was strangely accusatory.
"If these women didn't want their nude pictures to be seen, why take them?" "They had to know they could be comprised." "It's their fault for putting them out into the world to start with."
Wait... what?
Men take nudies, too
First of all, the insinuation that women are somehow not entitled to take photos of themselves in the privacy of their own homes on their personal cell phones is incendiary. All over the world, there are mandates about how women should act in public. Now we're being told how we should act in private, too?
Besides, is the collective world really so naive that we believe men aren't taking the same types of photos?
"I guarantee Jennifer Lawrence would not have nude pics on the internet if Chris Martin didn't send her a dick pic first."
Jennifer Lawrence vs. Jill Scott nude hack reaction: Is hypocrisy at hand? >>
Right? So what's the difference? The difference, as the Cotillion Girls point out, is that men aren't being hacked. Women are being targeted deliberately and maliciously. "The Fappening," as the nude hack has disturbingly been dubbed, is a weapon of mass humiliation designed to put women — or, depending on who you ask, keep them — in their place.
Case in point? Emma Watson.
If only the Stupefy spell worked on internet trolls
Watson has been making the rounds on the internet this week for the stirring speech on gender inequality she delivered as part of the U.N.'s HeForShe initiative. But while many applauded her progressive take on feminism and her impassioned plea for men to take up the cause, an unidentified 4chan user delivered an ominous threat: Emma, you're next.
And not only did the user threaten to disseminate nude photos of Watson, but he went so far as to create a website with the URL emmayouarenext.com — complete with a countdown to said nude photo apocalypse.
Other users perpetuated the hateful propaganda, spewing vitriol like "she makes stupid feminist speeches at UN, and now her nudes will be online, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" and "it is real and going to happen this weekend. That feminist bitch Emma is going to show the world she is as much of a whore as any woman."
Methinks someone is threatened.
Who are these "men's rights" trolls, anyway? Hint, guys: Lying, stealing and making idle threats behind the veil of a fictitious user name does not a manly man make. It makes you assholes. And cowardly ones, at that.
The seedy underbelly of gender inequality
So, yes, it's wildly apparent that gender inequality is alive and well. But what is most worrisome is the overtly malevolent undercurrent that often accompanies it.
The Cotillion Girls point to the fact that "there's an app for your iPad that simulates sex with a woman," illuminating the notion that women are only sexual objects. Why do we need an app for sex? We're merely playthings.
Even more alarming is the fact that "male programmers created a mod in Grand Theft Auto to 'rape' other players."
Seriously? How is that even legal?
"Revenge Porn King" Hunter Moore's arrest: A cautionary tale >>
So, no, we're not condoning that someone actually hack into Ryan Gosling's iPhone and release pics of his dick. And if you really think that's the message the Cotillion Girls are trying to send with this video, watch it again.
What we do want to see, in lieu of Gosling's dick, is change.